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Thursday, April 7, 2011

Attack Rooster 2011

The chickens are a constant source of entertainment.  I would like to publicly state I always say "thank you" for the eggs, and "Good Morning Chickens" when I let them out. I count them, to make sure everyone is present. But, despite my best attempts to be a top notch chicken czar, I do fall short every now and then.

A few days ago, I decided  to go check on the hen house- the usual- get the eggs, check their feed, and water. Well, because all the chickens are broody ( meaning they are getting ready for hatching chicks),  the rooster is protecting his ladies. And the hen house apparently ain't big enough for the two of us- so I close the door when I go in there, so that the chickens and rooster doesn't come in and give me hell. But this time, I forgot to open the door back up and they couldn't get back into the hen house.

That night it started raining, and getting cold ( it was right before the last snow storm).  I went out to make sure that everyone was safe and sound in the hen house and to batten down the hatches for the snow storm.
Well- none of the chickens could get in because I hadn't opened the door back up!

"Oopsy daisy" I think. And open up the door. They'll all just jump right back in.

I wait, and wait.  The chickens are not coming inside...maybe they don't know the door is open.  I stick my hand through the door and make some silly noises and wave my hand around.
BANG! ATTACK ROOSTER!
That didn't go well.

I try the flash light.
BANG!ATTACK ROOSTER WILL KILL THE INTRUDER!

Hmmm- this might not go as easily as I planned. And I have to get them in because there is a snow storm coming.  I conference with  people knowledgeable in the mysteries of chickens.
Apparently,  the chickens will not go anywhere, or do anything when its dark. They just want to stay huddled in a chicken pile, and not make any changes, on account of not knowing what might be out there in the dark.
I will have to pick up the chickens and put them back into the hen house.

O.k- I put on some heavy duty gloves, and get my flash light, and enlist Zeus, master herds-dog, to assist with the process.  I open the door to the hen yard, and to general clucking and some wiggling around, but no scattering of chickens, which is encouraging. Zeus guards the door while I go into the battle zone.

I grab the first chicken.  There is much clucking and flapping, but I shove her right into hen house and she stays put.  I grab another and do the same. Then the third. Things are going better then I thought they would.
Then, attack rooster catches on. And he is mad. He starts clucking, and honking and yelling at me. Then, he jumps up!  He is launching a full on attack with the feet!  I have nothing to defend myself with accept a chicken! Then, instinct takes over- I can not condemn, nor condone the actions which follow, because they where purely instinctual.
In a moment of panic, I throw the chicken at the rooster. It stops him dead in his tracks. The chicken and rooster land in a confused heap on the ground. It give me time to get a few more chickens into the hen house- and the rooster is sufficiently dazed that he wonders around for long enough for me to prepare for the next attack. I see him getting all puffed up, ready to attack intruders again, and grab a buffer chicken. I just hold her out, between me and the rooster- it seems like enough to deter the rooster from a full on attack.
There is only a few left, plus the rooster. I decide to just go for it and grab him. I sneak up behind him while he is starting to get suspicious of Zeus. He doesn't even see me coming, because now, he's got Zeus pegged as another intruder. BANG! I grab him, and he squirms around, but I hold my ground and shove him right in the hen house. The last few chickens go in with out a problem.

I gather up my flashlight, and close them in for the night, and promise to Zeus that I will never, ever put him and myself  through this particular type of nonsense again- if I can help it.

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